Some things are just too easy

More and more I find myself posting other people's blogs and news stories. It's not that I've become lazy, the truth is, other people have great things to say. I think it's important to share them. I subscribe to a blog from Marla Tabaka, I've mentioned her before, and she says some great stuff. Since she is a life and a business coach and I suspect, because she writes for Inc.com, that she leans a bit more toward business. That's not to say that her blogs are not useful for everyone though.

Here is a list of 20 questions Marla posted, to ask yourself about a winning attitude. You don't have to be a business owner to want to say TRUE to these. In fact, these are things you can ask yourself for almost any situation. Take a few minutes and read them over, decide what your score is. And of course, I'm here to coach you to get to "TRUE" on all 20 questions.

1. When I think about my vision I feel confident and eager to achieve it. Sometimes it feels like it has already come to fruition!
2. I have a clear picture of the steps I will take to achieve my vision and have confidence that I will learn from and conquer any barriers that may come into the picture.
3. I’m aware of my weaknesses but also know how to leverage my greatest strengths.
4. I have the ability to adjust my plan with optimism when unexpected events come into the picture.
5. When I speak with others I project a positive, excited and confident attitude.
6. I am able to listen to the dreams and hopes of another without interrupting them with my own thoughts.
7. I can accept the need for change in a calm, positive manner.
8. When people disagree with me I allow them their opinion and listen and speak calmly, rather than trying to force my perspective on them.
9. I refrain from judging others.
10. I can convert my fearful thoughts into motivating energy and belief in myself.
11. I consider all possible outcomes and perspectives when I create and implement my plans.
12. I make sure to spend time in the activities (outside of work) that are most important to me.
13. I take good care of myself by eating well, exercising and enjoying lots of laughter!
14. I am able to still my mind and connect with whatever higher power I believe in on a daily basis.
15. I am aware of my values and honor them when I make my plans and decisions.
16. I surround myself with people who support and encourage my success.
17. I take time to contribute to the success of others.
18. When I have an “off day” I am able to accept myself anyway and know that I have the power to change how I feel.
19. I am realistic in my outlook, but willing to step outside of my “comfort zone” to take some risk.
20. I surround myself with resources and helpful people rather than keeping everything to myself and trying to do it all alone.

If you answered “true” to at least 15 of these questions, you’ve got great “attitude”! If you are at 100% you have a Million Dollar Mindset – welcome to the club!

http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/got-attitude.html

Managing Holiday Season Stress

Research dating from 2004 to the present show that finances are the #1 cause of stress all year round but most importantly around the holidays. As the holidays approach our stressors are exacerbated by demands to buy gifts, entertain, etc. Credit card debt, the poor economy and family responsibilities seem to conspire against us and increase our stress level. Many people cope with stress by making unhealthy food choices, arguing with loved ones, becoming depressed or some combination of all of these. Poor coping behaviors don’t actually reduce our stress. In fact, they can add to it.

This holiday season is an especially difficult one for many of us. Perhaps this is just another difficult holiday added to the list of difficult holidays over the last few years. Business has slowed down, some people are out of work and yet these demands remain. You might be asking yourself how you can get your holiday shopping done without breaking the bank, without disappointing your children or other family members. Demands to conform or to buy the latest hot item for your kids may be undermining your ability to effectively deal with stress. Parental guilt caused by not buying that item is short term. Setting realistic financial goals for your holiday spending is the first and most important step and will have long term effects including teaching coping strategies and decision making skills to your children.

Here are a few of the most common tips to reduce holiday stress:

Identify the stress, evaluate your responses to that stress, make changes where necessary incrementally, first one behavior, then the next. Only by recognizing and tackling these issues one at a time can you make real and lasting changes. When you feel that you must change it all overnight you increase your stress and anxiety.

As I said before; set realistic goals for what you want to achieve this holiday season. Being realistic, not being drawn in by marketing or media messages, about what you need or must have will help you stay on track. If finances are an issue create a budget and stick to it.

Keep it in perspective. Check your stressors over the long term, where do they fit in, how impactful are they really? If the stress you are feeling is restricted to this holiday season then you can let it go more easily. The impact is minimal and studies show that even under stressful conditions most people feel good about their holidays when they are spent with loved ones. Knowing that you will too can help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety of holiday demands.

Remember what’s really important this holiday season (hint: it’s not in the amount of money you spend). In these difficult times our family and friends and the support we give one another is priceless and that’s what makes holidays memorable!

Finally, please remember, there are always people less fortunate than you or I. Share your gifts or volunteer your time to help them this holiday season. The gift of giving is the greatest gift of all.

Self acceptance for a stress free holiday season

Thanksgiving is upon us and that means the beginning of the holiday shopping and entertaining season as well. This can be a very stressful time for some but it doesn't have to be. One of the hallmarks of my coaching practice is to work with clients to develop feelings of self acceptance. But what does that have to do with Thanksgiving and the holidays you may ask. Well, the answer is simple; a good amount of stress comes from the desire to please others especially around the holidays. The truth is, you can't please everyone and most people know that but that doesn't keep the stress away. Practicing self acceptance is one of the ways in which holiday stress can be minimized or eradicated completely.

Holidays are a time when we get together with loved ones and then complain about it for the rest of the year (maybe).

Through the process of developing self acceptance one can easily recognize and acknowledge whatever missteps might have been taken without all self directed anger. We all make errors in judgment and there will always be others who criticize us for whatever reason they may have. Through self acceptance you will be able to say to yourself or to others, "OK that didn't go as planned but I am still a worthwhile and valuable person." That's really it in a nutshell. Spend a few minutes every day (this season or forever) reminding yourself that you are not the totality of your mistake or others criticisms. You are a whole and worthwhile valuable person even when you make mistakes. Viewing others in this light will also be helpful and go a long way in allowing you to enjoy your holidays and your family gatherings.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

Self acceptance blog from the Albert Ellis Institute:
http://rebtinstitute.org/blog/2010/11/15/self-acceptance/

Happiness - how can you feel it more everyday?

It's a very rare occassion that I might blog about something with great politcal and social implication. However, that broader context can at times affect our day to day lives and our sense of empowerment. While perusing the various online news magazines this morning I came across an article that made me think about how the social and political environment affects our happiness as individuals.

An article in Newsweek "Blacks are getting happier" makes some great points about increasing happiness. The writer notes that blacks are getting happier and whites are not. While I do not believe any one race ought to have a corner on the happiness markets, there are some valid, tangiable and intangiable, reasons why this is occurring.

"...it is clear that what has changed most are things that we cannot measure, and which spring from rights, heightened status, and erosion of prejudice. Stevenson and Wolfers write: “Our study illustrates that the fruits of the civil rights movement may lay in other, more difficult to document, improvements in the quality of life.” It makes sense that respect and esteem can lift your spirits. It may also translate into an ongoing optimism: a Gallup poll taken this year found 63 percent of blacks thought their standard of living was getting better; 41 percent of whites did."

Another point made is with regard to women, expectations and reality. Women have come a long way in 100 years but stagnation in social attitudes and economic policy frustrates the road to equality still.

So here we are, one day after the 90th anniversary of women gaining voting rights in America and one day before the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech (If you've never heard it in it's entirety I recommend you watch/listen), I ask you to reflect on how far you have come, how far you might need to go, and what you can do to get there.

The value and importance of these two landmark events, the struggles that lead to them, and how we can use this to benefit ourselves and our communities are worth a few minutes of consideration.

Let's get happier!

Here's the link to the article: http://www.newsweek.com/2010/08/27/baird-blacks-whites-and-the-happiness-gap.html?from=rss