So I was perusing Inc.com's website today. I happen to like to read Marla Tabaka. She's a coach too and she wrote an article earlier this month "5 ways to achieve follow through." I thought, hmmm...kind of looks like my EmpowerMap process - ok not really. Of course, most coaches and training programs have step by step requirements to achieve success in various domains. The difference between them is often the perspective you take when going through them. I happen to like the way she presents this information and I wanted to share it with you. The steps are actually a great adjunct to the EmpowerMap process. If you've taken the teleclass, or have had any other EmpowerMap Process coaching, or would like to, these five steps for follow through will be a great way to manage your action steps once you've created your EmpowerMap.
Finally, if you have not yet registered for the next EmpowerMap Process teleclass, time is running out. The next class begins January 13th. For more information or registration go to
http://shop.empower-map.com/6-Week-EmpowerMap-Teleclass-6WT.htm. See you on the Teleclass.
5 ways to achieve follow up:
http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/5-ways-to-achieve-follow-through-.html#
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Managing Holiday Season Stress
Research dating from 2004 to the present show that finances are the #1 cause of stress all year round but most importantly around the holidays. As the holidays approach our stressors are exacerbated by demands to buy gifts, entertain, etc. Credit card debt, the poor economy and family responsibilities seem to conspire against us and increase our stress level. Many people cope with stress by making unhealthy food choices, arguing with loved ones, becoming depressed or some combination of all of these. Poor coping behaviors don’t actually reduce our stress. In fact, they can add to it.
This holiday season is an especially difficult one for many of us. Perhaps this is just another difficult holiday added to the list of difficult holidays over the last few years. Business has slowed down, some people are out of work and yet these demands remain. You might be asking yourself how you can get your holiday shopping done without breaking the bank, without disappointing your children or other family members. Demands to conform or to buy the latest hot item for your kids may be undermining your ability to effectively deal with stress. Parental guilt caused by not buying that item is short term. Setting realistic financial goals for your holiday spending is the first and most important step and will have long term effects including teaching coping strategies and decision making skills to your children.
Here are a few of the most common tips to reduce holiday stress:
Identify the stress, evaluate your responses to that stress, make changes where necessary incrementally, first one behavior, then the next. Only by recognizing and tackling these issues one at a time can you make real and lasting changes. When you feel that you must change it all overnight you increase your stress and anxiety.
As I said before; set realistic goals for what you want to achieve this holiday season. Being realistic, not being drawn in by marketing or media messages, about what you need or must have will help you stay on track. If finances are an issue create a budget and stick to it.
Keep it in perspective. Check your stressors over the long term, where do they fit in, how impactful are they really? If the stress you are feeling is restricted to this holiday season then you can let it go more easily. The impact is minimal and studies show that even under stressful conditions most people feel good about their holidays when they are spent with loved ones. Knowing that you will too can help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety of holiday demands.
Remember what’s really important this holiday season (hint: it’s not in the amount of money you spend). In these difficult times our family and friends and the support we give one another is priceless and that’s what makes holidays memorable!
Finally, please remember, there are always people less fortunate than you or I. Share your gifts or volunteer your time to help them this holiday season. The gift of giving is the greatest gift of all.
This holiday season is an especially difficult one for many of us. Perhaps this is just another difficult holiday added to the list of difficult holidays over the last few years. Business has slowed down, some people are out of work and yet these demands remain. You might be asking yourself how you can get your holiday shopping done without breaking the bank, without disappointing your children or other family members. Demands to conform or to buy the latest hot item for your kids may be undermining your ability to effectively deal with stress. Parental guilt caused by not buying that item is short term. Setting realistic financial goals for your holiday spending is the first and most important step and will have long term effects including teaching coping strategies and decision making skills to your children.
Here are a few of the most common tips to reduce holiday stress:
Identify the stress, evaluate your responses to that stress, make changes where necessary incrementally, first one behavior, then the next. Only by recognizing and tackling these issues one at a time can you make real and lasting changes. When you feel that you must change it all overnight you increase your stress and anxiety.
As I said before; set realistic goals for what you want to achieve this holiday season. Being realistic, not being drawn in by marketing or media messages, about what you need or must have will help you stay on track. If finances are an issue create a budget and stick to it.
Keep it in perspective. Check your stressors over the long term, where do they fit in, how impactful are they really? If the stress you are feeling is restricted to this holiday season then you can let it go more easily. The impact is minimal and studies show that even under stressful conditions most people feel good about their holidays when they are spent with loved ones. Knowing that you will too can help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety of holiday demands.
Remember what’s really important this holiday season (hint: it’s not in the amount of money you spend). In these difficult times our family and friends and the support we give one another is priceless and that’s what makes holidays memorable!
Finally, please remember, there are always people less fortunate than you or I. Share your gifts or volunteer your time to help them this holiday season. The gift of giving is the greatest gift of all.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Self acceptance for a stress free holiday season
Thanksgiving is upon us and that means the beginning of the holiday shopping and entertaining season as well. This can be a very stressful time for some but it doesn't have to be. One of the hallmarks of my coaching practice is to work with clients to develop feelings of self acceptance. But what does that have to do with Thanksgiving and the holidays you may ask. Well, the answer is simple; a good amount of stress comes from the desire to please others especially around the holidays. The truth is, you can't please everyone and most people know that but that doesn't keep the stress away. Practicing self acceptance is one of the ways in which holiday stress can be minimized or eradicated completely.
Holidays are a time when we get together with loved ones and then complain about it for the rest of the year (maybe).
Through the process of developing self acceptance one can easily recognize and acknowledge whatever missteps might have been taken without all self directed anger. We all make errors in judgment and there will always be others who criticize us for whatever reason they may have. Through self acceptance you will be able to say to yourself or to others, "OK that didn't go as planned but I am still a worthwhile and valuable person." That's really it in a nutshell. Spend a few minutes every day (this season or forever) reminding yourself that you are not the totality of your mistake or others criticisms. You are a whole and worthwhile valuable person even when you make mistakes. Viewing others in this light will also be helpful and go a long way in allowing you to enjoy your holidays and your family gatherings.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Self acceptance blog from the Albert Ellis Institute:
http://rebtinstitute.org/blog/2010/11/15/self-acceptance/
Holidays are a time when we get together with loved ones and then complain about it for the rest of the year (maybe).
Through the process of developing self acceptance one can easily recognize and acknowledge whatever missteps might have been taken without all self directed anger. We all make errors in judgment and there will always be others who criticize us for whatever reason they may have. Through self acceptance you will be able to say to yourself or to others, "OK that didn't go as planned but I am still a worthwhile and valuable person." That's really it in a nutshell. Spend a few minutes every day (this season or forever) reminding yourself that you are not the totality of your mistake or others criticisms. You are a whole and worthwhile valuable person even when you make mistakes. Viewing others in this light will also be helpful and go a long way in allowing you to enjoy your holidays and your family gatherings.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Self acceptance blog from the Albert Ellis Institute:
http://rebtinstitute.org/blog/2010/11/15/self-acceptance/
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Veteran's Day
November 11th is Veteran's Day. I've noticed, sadly, that many people have forgotten the meaning of this day to a large extent and there are many reasons for this. Often people confuse honoring veteran's with supporting war. At the same time we take our rights and hard fought freedom for granted. To be sure, there are many rights that civilians have sacrificed to achieve. But even that ability, to gather, to protest, to elect officials that we hope have out best interests at heart, they come to us because someone else puts our rights before his or her own and went to battle.
There are currently thousands of men and women deployed overseas who put their lives at risk everyday. Veterans' day is a day for us to honor their selflessness. To say thank you. To acklowdege, without shame, that there are some people who do this better than we do and to let them know we appreciate them.
Freedom, the ability to make decisions about your life, is precious and it comes to us thanks to soldiers. But Veterans day is not about mourning the lost, it is about celebrating those who served honorably and are still with us. So if you know someone who served just say "Thank you" they will appreciate it.
There are currently thousands of men and women deployed overseas who put their lives at risk everyday. Veterans' day is a day for us to honor their selflessness. To say thank you. To acklowdege, without shame, that there are some people who do this better than we do and to let them know we appreciate them.
Freedom, the ability to make decisions about your life, is precious and it comes to us thanks to soldiers. But Veterans day is not about mourning the lost, it is about celebrating those who served honorably and are still with us. So if you know someone who served just say "Thank you" they will appreciate it.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Happiness takes effort
It's true, happiness takes effort.
Sure, there are lots of people who are optimistic naturally, who see the brighter side of a situation but that's a little different from happiness (although it helps). Happiness is often measured, in scientific terms, as life satisfaction.
In a recent article, Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, positive psychology researcher, stated that happiness can in some ways be compared to maintaining a healthy weight. If you want to lose weight you go on a diet, if you want to keep the weight off, you make the effort to maintain it.
The same goes for happiness. Being actively engaged - thinking happy thoughts - can help increase your happiness. No kidding, she's even done research on this. Her team found that people who spent about 8 minutes a day thinking about happy events in their life scored higher on happiness and satisfaction scales four weeks later. This is without making any changes in their lives.
Taking the time to think about happy events, or learning how to put these events into perspective is something that a coach can help you do. Shifting your thinking, finding those happy thoughts may take effort but the payoff is priceless.
I want you to be happy, happy people make a happy world. I'd love to work on that with you.
Feel free to share your happy thoughts and inspire others here on my blog.
Sure, there are lots of people who are optimistic naturally, who see the brighter side of a situation but that's a little different from happiness (although it helps). Happiness is often measured, in scientific terms, as life satisfaction.
In a recent article, Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, positive psychology researcher, stated that happiness can in some ways be compared to maintaining a healthy weight. If you want to lose weight you go on a diet, if you want to keep the weight off, you make the effort to maintain it.
The same goes for happiness. Being actively engaged - thinking happy thoughts - can help increase your happiness. No kidding, she's even done research on this. Her team found that people who spent about 8 minutes a day thinking about happy events in their life scored higher on happiness and satisfaction scales four weeks later. This is without making any changes in their lives.
Taking the time to think about happy events, or learning how to put these events into perspective is something that a coach can help you do. Shifting your thinking, finding those happy thoughts may take effort but the payoff is priceless.
I want you to be happy, happy people make a happy world. I'd love to work on that with you.
Feel free to share your happy thoughts and inspire others here on my blog.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Procrastinating - putting off happiness and your goals
Procrastination is something we all do at one time or another. Sometimes it helps us prepare for a big moment like having that dreaded conversation with the boss. Other times it just puts off something that may be a bit painful but completely worth it, like a doctors visit or a trip to the dentist. But there is a different kind of procrastination and it's what we do when we fear change.
Change can be scary but we know at times it is a necessity. There are so many ways changes manifest and some of them are welcome and exciting (new marriage, new baby) and others challenge us (ok, new marriage, new baby, too) like starting a new job, or leaving one to start a business. We also procrastinate in our personal lives when the thing we put off is the thing that will bring us the happiness and satisfaction we crave and deserve.
The longer we put off the thing we want most, the further away it will feel. Putting it off again, because it seems so far away anyway, just makes it feel even further away. Eventually, this procrastination can lead to a feeling of hopelessness and impossibility. Making the change is going to be hard, and emotional. You my think "who knows if I'll get what I want now, it's been so long." But is this really true? Ask yourself, is there something I want that I am putting off? What will my life look like when I make this move?
Taking big steps and making big changes may be difficult at first. You'll be challenged emotionally, I promise you that. But will you regret it? Probably not. Therein lies the question to ask yourself when you put off the things you know must be done. Once you can honestly say that you will not regret this very scary, big step, you can take the step. Fear is natural. It's expected and what connects us as human beings. Putting off happiness is also something that is uniquely human and it's also something that doesn't bring any happiness or satisfaction at all.
Procrastination is just a short reprieve from fear. Living life to it's fullest means embracing fear, accepting it, and then moving past it. So take that leap, whatever it may be and don't put off your happiness or life satisfaction for one more minute.
Change can be scary but we know at times it is a necessity. There are so many ways changes manifest and some of them are welcome and exciting (new marriage, new baby) and others challenge us (ok, new marriage, new baby, too) like starting a new job, or leaving one to start a business. We also procrastinate in our personal lives when the thing we put off is the thing that will bring us the happiness and satisfaction we crave and deserve.
The longer we put off the thing we want most, the further away it will feel. Putting it off again, because it seems so far away anyway, just makes it feel even further away. Eventually, this procrastination can lead to a feeling of hopelessness and impossibility. Making the change is going to be hard, and emotional. You my think "who knows if I'll get what I want now, it's been so long." But is this really true? Ask yourself, is there something I want that I am putting off? What will my life look like when I make this move?
Taking big steps and making big changes may be difficult at first. You'll be challenged emotionally, I promise you that. But will you regret it? Probably not. Therein lies the question to ask yourself when you put off the things you know must be done. Once you can honestly say that you will not regret this very scary, big step, you can take the step. Fear is natural. It's expected and what connects us as human beings. Putting off happiness is also something that is uniquely human and it's also something that doesn't bring any happiness or satisfaction at all.
Procrastination is just a short reprieve from fear. Living life to it's fullest means embracing fear, accepting it, and then moving past it. So take that leap, whatever it may be and don't put off your happiness or life satisfaction for one more minute.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Happiness - how can you feel it more everyday?
It's a very rare occassion that I might blog about something with great politcal and social implication. However, that broader context can at times affect our day to day lives and our sense of empowerment. While perusing the various online news magazines this morning I came across an article that made me think about how the social and political environment affects our happiness as individuals.
An article in Newsweek "Blacks are getting happier" makes some great points about increasing happiness. The writer notes that blacks are getting happier and whites are not. While I do not believe any one race ought to have a corner on the happiness markets, there are some valid, tangiable and intangiable, reasons why this is occurring.
"...it is clear that what has changed most are things that we cannot measure, and which spring from rights, heightened status, and erosion of prejudice. Stevenson and Wolfers write: “Our study illustrates that the fruits of the civil rights movement may lay in other, more difficult to document, improvements in the quality of life.” It makes sense that respect and esteem can lift your spirits. It may also translate into an ongoing optimism: a Gallup poll taken this year found 63 percent of blacks thought their standard of living was getting better; 41 percent of whites did."
Another point made is with regard to women, expectations and reality. Women have come a long way in 100 years but stagnation in social attitudes and economic policy frustrates the road to equality still.
So here we are, one day after the 90th anniversary of women gaining voting rights in America and one day before the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech (If you've never heard it in it's entirety I recommend you watch/listen), I ask you to reflect on how far you have come, how far you might need to go, and what you can do to get there.
The value and importance of these two landmark events, the struggles that lead to them, and how we can use this to benefit ourselves and our communities are worth a few minutes of consideration.
Let's get happier!
Here's the link to the article: http://www.newsweek.com/2010/08/27/baird-blacks-whites-and-the-happiness-gap.html?from=rss
An article in Newsweek "Blacks are getting happier" makes some great points about increasing happiness. The writer notes that blacks are getting happier and whites are not. While I do not believe any one race ought to have a corner on the happiness markets, there are some valid, tangiable and intangiable, reasons why this is occurring.
"...it is clear that what has changed most are things that we cannot measure, and which spring from rights, heightened status, and erosion of prejudice. Stevenson and Wolfers write: “Our study illustrates that the fruits of the civil rights movement may lay in other, more difficult to document, improvements in the quality of life.” It makes sense that respect and esteem can lift your spirits. It may also translate into an ongoing optimism: a Gallup poll taken this year found 63 percent of blacks thought their standard of living was getting better; 41 percent of whites did."
Another point made is with regard to women, expectations and reality. Women have come a long way in 100 years but stagnation in social attitudes and economic policy frustrates the road to equality still.
So here we are, one day after the 90th anniversary of women gaining voting rights in America and one day before the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech (If you've never heard it in it's entirety I recommend you watch/listen), I ask you to reflect on how far you have come, how far you might need to go, and what you can do to get there.
The value and importance of these two landmark events, the struggles that lead to them, and how we can use this to benefit ourselves and our communities are worth a few minutes of consideration.
Let's get happier!
Here's the link to the article: http://www.newsweek.com/2010/08/27/baird-blacks-whites-and-the-happiness-gap.html?from=rss
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Karma?
I have often toyed with the idea of Karma. Whether or not you believe in a higher power, God or what have you, almost everyone believes that there is balance in the universe. At some point, we will be rewarded for our thoughtful and kind behavior. I take this belief seriously for two reasons:
1) I'd rather err on the side of goodness.
2) It feels good to be thoughtful and kind.
In the past few days I have needed to speak with technical representatives about my website about 3 times. With each of these contacts I received a survey in my email to rate my experience.
Luckily, I was very pleased. As I filled out the surveys I thought about how important it was to do so. Not necessarily so the company can "improve customer service" but because the people who worked with me deserved the recognition.
I always take their name down and in the comments section of the survey I refer to him or her by name and explain specifically why I was happy with their help. I also thought about how I would respond if I was not pleased. I considered Karma. If I am not embellishing or speaking through my anger, I am erring on the side of goodness. This will hopefully be returned to me someday in some form when needed. If not it still feels good to be thoughtful and kind.
So, I want to encourage you to please fill out these surveys and use the following tips:
1) Use the reps. name whenever possible in your response
2) Seperate the rep. from the company if your problem cannot be resolved
3) Say something specific about why the rep. pleased you
4) If you were not happy with the rep. say so in an objective and helpful way
There are lots of other ways to let a company or service provier know you are happy/unhappy. But when that survey comes to your inbox consider Karma before you delete it.
Never miss an opportunity to have the Gods smile upon you!
1) I'd rather err on the side of goodness.
2) It feels good to be thoughtful and kind.
In the past few days I have needed to speak with technical representatives about my website about 3 times. With each of these contacts I received a survey in my email to rate my experience.
Luckily, I was very pleased. As I filled out the surveys I thought about how important it was to do so. Not necessarily so the company can "improve customer service" but because the people who worked with me deserved the recognition.
I always take their name down and in the comments section of the survey I refer to him or her by name and explain specifically why I was happy with their help. I also thought about how I would respond if I was not pleased. I considered Karma. If I am not embellishing or speaking through my anger, I am erring on the side of goodness. This will hopefully be returned to me someday in some form when needed. If not it still feels good to be thoughtful and kind.
So, I want to encourage you to please fill out these surveys and use the following tips:
1) Use the reps. name whenever possible in your response
2) Seperate the rep. from the company if your problem cannot be resolved
3) Say something specific about why the rep. pleased you
4) If you were not happy with the rep. say so in an objective and helpful way
There are lots of other ways to let a company or service provier know you are happy/unhappy. But when that survey comes to your inbox consider Karma before you delete it.
Never miss an opportunity to have the Gods smile upon you!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Appreciating differences
In a New York Times opinion piece this week, columnist Maureen Dowd discusses the stunting of our personal growth through our carefully selective approach to association.
I agree with her. In fact, more and more we, individuals that is, close ourselves off from people who do not think like us, or do not come from similar circumstances, share our belief systems, etc. More and more, we are preventing not only our personal growth but our social and societal evolution.
A few years back some social scientists did a study. They presented a group of people, with mixed political views, the opportunity to read some information that they agreed with or read information that was different from their views. In 67% of instances, the respondents chose to read a viewpoint that they agreed with. Now you may say, of course they would. People like to have their ideas validated that is part of the human condition.
But overall, it prevents us from growing, from understanding and respecting one another. Imagine you were in a library, and the only books available were books you already read. How would you learn? You may have beliefs and ideas that will never change or be only slightly modified as you grow older. That's OK. But we have opportunities to learn and build alliances with all kinds of people throughout our lives. We may choose not to once we have all the information, but choosing not to acquire that information will only be a hindrance.
There was an episode of the Twilight Zone where an intemperate man wished everyone were like him. When he awoke the next day his wish came true. He was completely miserable. The world grows and develops and progresses through differences and learning how to live, manage, and respect them. When you have the opportunity to meet or talk to someone who has an opposing viewpoint or appears to fit an unflattering stereotype, take the time to know him or her as an individual. Expand your understanding and it will be returned in the manner of stronger relationships and better understanding of those who inhabit this world.
link to the article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/11/opinion/11dowd.html
I agree with her. In fact, more and more we, individuals that is, close ourselves off from people who do not think like us, or do not come from similar circumstances, share our belief systems, etc. More and more, we are preventing not only our personal growth but our social and societal evolution.
A few years back some social scientists did a study. They presented a group of people, with mixed political views, the opportunity to read some information that they agreed with or read information that was different from their views. In 67% of instances, the respondents chose to read a viewpoint that they agreed with. Now you may say, of course they would. People like to have their ideas validated that is part of the human condition.
But overall, it prevents us from growing, from understanding and respecting one another. Imagine you were in a library, and the only books available were books you already read. How would you learn? You may have beliefs and ideas that will never change or be only slightly modified as you grow older. That's OK. But we have opportunities to learn and build alliances with all kinds of people throughout our lives. We may choose not to once we have all the information, but choosing not to acquire that information will only be a hindrance.
There was an episode of the Twilight Zone where an intemperate man wished everyone were like him. When he awoke the next day his wish came true. He was completely miserable. The world grows and develops and progresses through differences and learning how to live, manage, and respect them. When you have the opportunity to meet or talk to someone who has an opposing viewpoint or appears to fit an unflattering stereotype, take the time to know him or her as an individual. Expand your understanding and it will be returned in the manner of stronger relationships and better understanding of those who inhabit this world.
link to the article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/11/opinion/11dowd.html
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Staying Balanced
Balance is one of the most important parts of our lives and it is one of the most misunderstood parts as well. Many people have the tendency to view balance as a black and white issue, not just the give and take of life. For example, when good things happen to you and all around you, it's not uncommon to worry about when it will go away, or when something not so good is going to happen.
But balance is really a game of opportunities, not opposites. If we imagine a scale, not a bathroom scale, but the scales of justice. We have the blindfolded woman holding a scale in her left and right hand. One of those scales is you, the other scale is the world. When you receive good things, they weigh your side down, it's wonderful, but it can be overwhelming. But when failure and disappointment come your way, they still end up on your scale. That's not balance. It's being on the receiving end, constantly. Recognizing opportunities to give back to the world is how real balance is created.
There is an unfortunate truth that good things can be shared but disappointments are tailor made. That's actually not a bad thing because when we feel disappointed or hurt we don't really want to make others feel that way. Those negative situations should not stop you from being in balance and taking advantage of opportunities. You can still create balance by recognizing opportunities to give positive feedback, encouragement, volunteer your time, and any number of things to even out the scales.
So when you are experiencing all the great things the world has to offer, don't worry about something bad, be aware of the opportunity to share with the world and remain in balance.
But balance is really a game of opportunities, not opposites. If we imagine a scale, not a bathroom scale, but the scales of justice. We have the blindfolded woman holding a scale in her left and right hand. One of those scales is you, the other scale is the world. When you receive good things, they weigh your side down, it's wonderful, but it can be overwhelming. But when failure and disappointment come your way, they still end up on your scale. That's not balance. It's being on the receiving end, constantly. Recognizing opportunities to give back to the world is how real balance is created.
There is an unfortunate truth that good things can be shared but disappointments are tailor made. That's actually not a bad thing because when we feel disappointed or hurt we don't really want to make others feel that way. Those negative situations should not stop you from being in balance and taking advantage of opportunities. You can still create balance by recognizing opportunities to give positive feedback, encouragement, volunteer your time, and any number of things to even out the scales.
So when you are experiencing all the great things the world has to offer, don't worry about something bad, be aware of the opportunity to share with the world and remain in balance.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Unknown Unknowns
This past week there was a five part series on a phenomenon called Anosognosia in the New York Times by Errol Morris. Anosognosia is the term used for people who have a brain injury that causes paralysis AND also leaves them unaware of the paralysis. This is interesting because when you ask someone with this condition to move their paralyzed limb they will simply give you a reason why they do not need to, rather than say "oh you know I can't do that, it's paralyzed." The question for psychiatrists is whether this is part of the injury or some other deeply ingrained defense mechanism. So far the jury is still out.
This got me thinking about ways in which we are unaware of things as well. Don Rumsfeld, several years ago used the phrase "Unknown Unknowns." Some people scoffed at the usage but it has important ramifications, especially in our everyday life. We operate under three conditions:
Known - Knowns; which is the stuff we are aware of and know fully.
Known - Unknowns; which is stuff we are aware of but have no knowledge about (like how to fly a plane or perform brain surgery)
Unknown - Unknowns; these are things in which we aren't even aware of their existence AND we don't know that we are unware of them. A good example of this I think comes from the banking industry. Prior to 2008 few people had heard of a credit default swap and didn't know they'd never heard of it. That is an unknown unknown. Once we heard of it, it became a known unknown. Another exmaple; remember as a child when you first began school. You knew there was such a thing as the alphabet and math but you were very likely unaware of calculus, nor were you aware that you were unaware of it. At some point during middle school or high school the word and concept became known to you, etc.
So what does this all mean? Most of our day is spent operating within the parameters of known knowns, and known unknowns. Sometimes we turn those unknowns (perhaps learning to fly a plane) into a known. But we are often completely oblivious to the fact that we could randomly learn about something that we currently have no idea of it's existence. Sounds confusing? It doesn't need to be. When we find out about something years later (like those default swaps) we say, "why didn't I know that?" or "I can't believe I trusted that guy with my money!" But rather than experiencing guilt or anger at the unknown unknown, it's important to recognize that at the time you made a decision, you made it with all the knowledge that was available to you at that time.
My challenge to you now is, seek out an unknown unknown. How can you do that? In many ways in fact and the internet is a wonderful place to start. Choose a phrase or a period in history or subject like Physics and do a search. You are bound to come across something that makes you think "I never knew that, and I never knew I didn't know it." You can make this journey of discovery fun. Be open, be in learner mode and you'll begin to recognize when something goes from being an unknown unknown to a known unknown and ultimately a known known.
link to the NYT article: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1/?scp=1&sq=anosognosia&st=cse
This got me thinking about ways in which we are unaware of things as well. Don Rumsfeld, several years ago used the phrase "Unknown Unknowns." Some people scoffed at the usage but it has important ramifications, especially in our everyday life. We operate under three conditions:
Known - Knowns; which is the stuff we are aware of and know fully.
Known - Unknowns; which is stuff we are aware of but have no knowledge about (like how to fly a plane or perform brain surgery)
Unknown - Unknowns; these are things in which we aren't even aware of their existence AND we don't know that we are unware of them. A good example of this I think comes from the banking industry. Prior to 2008 few people had heard of a credit default swap and didn't know they'd never heard of it. That is an unknown unknown. Once we heard of it, it became a known unknown. Another exmaple; remember as a child when you first began school. You knew there was such a thing as the alphabet and math but you were very likely unaware of calculus, nor were you aware that you were unaware of it. At some point during middle school or high school the word and concept became known to you, etc.
So what does this all mean? Most of our day is spent operating within the parameters of known knowns, and known unknowns. Sometimes we turn those unknowns (perhaps learning to fly a plane) into a known. But we are often completely oblivious to the fact that we could randomly learn about something that we currently have no idea of it's existence. Sounds confusing? It doesn't need to be. When we find out about something years later (like those default swaps) we say, "why didn't I know that?" or "I can't believe I trusted that guy with my money!" But rather than experiencing guilt or anger at the unknown unknown, it's important to recognize that at the time you made a decision, you made it with all the knowledge that was available to you at that time.
My challenge to you now is, seek out an unknown unknown. How can you do that? In many ways in fact and the internet is a wonderful place to start. Choose a phrase or a period in history or subject like Physics and do a search. You are bound to come across something that makes you think "I never knew that, and I never knew I didn't know it." You can make this journey of discovery fun. Be open, be in learner mode and you'll begin to recognize when something goes from being an unknown unknown to a known unknown and ultimately a known known.
link to the NYT article: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1/?scp=1&sq=anosognosia&st=cse
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Here's to your health
I don't normally blog about specific health information. But I came across an article written by Dr. Christiane Northrup today and I had to share it. Although she is an Ob/gyn and writes books titled Women's Bodies/Women's Wisdom (which I do recommend), the information she provides in this article is really for anyone.
Please take a look, also you can catch her on TV talking about this very topic.
Here's to your health!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christiane-northrup/osteoporosis-treatment-a_b_585528.html
Please take a look, also you can catch her on TV talking about this very topic.
Here's to your health!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christiane-northrup/osteoporosis-treatment-a_b_585528.html
Monday, May 17, 2010
Expectations...
I was interviewd this week by tennis and mental toughness coach Ed Tseng. We talked about expectations. Expectations are an interesting thing because we live by them very often and more often they are the source of our stress. We either live up to them or we do not, other's live up to ours or they do not. We tend to forgive our friends and family for not living up to our expectations but we are often much harder on ourselves. This goes back to self compassion and self kindness. Are you creating realistic expectations for yourself? Are you being honest about the results of living up to them?
It's important to set goals for yourself and create expectations around those goals. These could be small goals such as daily living endeavors, clean the house, do the laundry, meet with your boss or employees, etc. They could be more future oriented goals such as complete a project and ask for a raise, lose weight, or things of that nature. But what are you saying to yourself in the event that one of these expectations is not met? Are you spending energy on self judgment, name calling, or ruminating on what you did? If you are, then you are being extremely unkind to yourself. When you expend all that energy on the negative, "I'm stupid, why did I do it that way, I can't believe I said that..." you are no longer in a goal reaching state of mind and you've now created a new set of expectations for yourself "I expect to fail!"
Instead, be in "learner mode." Be open and honest about the situation and be ready to create a plan around re-establishing your goal and new expectations about how to reach it. Spending time punishing yourself is using energy and brain power that could be used toward creating a new and better result. So first determine if you are setting realistic expectations for yourself. Then ask yourself if it's useful to beat yourself up or is it more useful to use that energy to move forward.
Please share your experiences about changing expectations for yourself. I'd love to hear about them.
It's important to set goals for yourself and create expectations around those goals. These could be small goals such as daily living endeavors, clean the house, do the laundry, meet with your boss or employees, etc. They could be more future oriented goals such as complete a project and ask for a raise, lose weight, or things of that nature. But what are you saying to yourself in the event that one of these expectations is not met? Are you spending energy on self judgment, name calling, or ruminating on what you did? If you are, then you are being extremely unkind to yourself. When you expend all that energy on the negative, "I'm stupid, why did I do it that way, I can't believe I said that..." you are no longer in a goal reaching state of mind and you've now created a new set of expectations for yourself "I expect to fail!"
Instead, be in "learner mode." Be open and honest about the situation and be ready to create a plan around re-establishing your goal and new expectations about how to reach it. Spending time punishing yourself is using energy and brain power that could be used toward creating a new and better result. So first determine if you are setting realistic expectations for yourself. Then ask yourself if it's useful to beat yourself up or is it more useful to use that energy to move forward.
Please share your experiences about changing expectations for yourself. I'd love to hear about them.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Here I go...springing
Since I decided to put my Visual empowerment map idea into a book, I've been jotting down ideas and inspirations everywhere. Whenever I think of something that I either want to mention or that has inspired me, I write it down. All these things have been great in terms of keeping my thoughts flowing. Whereve I go, I have a pad in my purse and I write. Sometimes it's just a few sentences, other times it's pages. But putting it together in a book is much harder work.
But what kind of empowerment coach would I be if I didn't take my own advice. So this weekend I am springing into action, as my blog says. No, I won't be cleaning out my closets, although I did partially clear out my dressers recently. I will be springing into action by taking all of my hand written notes and ideas and putting them together into a coherent file. Today I will be typing...typing...typing!
The idea of sitting here for a long period of time doing that is both exciting and irritating. I have to sit still...for hours! But I'll have accomplished a lot by the time I am done. So, exciting yes for what I'll have, but irritating because sitting still is a little hard.
Wish me luck and please feel free to comment, give me ideas, let me know what you think is important information that other people might benefit from. Thank you!
But what kind of empowerment coach would I be if I didn't take my own advice. So this weekend I am springing into action, as my blog says. No, I won't be cleaning out my closets, although I did partially clear out my dressers recently. I will be springing into action by taking all of my hand written notes and ideas and putting them together into a coherent file. Today I will be typing...typing...typing!
The idea of sitting here for a long period of time doing that is both exciting and irritating. I have to sit still...for hours! But I'll have accomplished a lot by the time I am done. So, exciting yes for what I'll have, but irritating because sitting still is a little hard.
Wish me luck and please feel free to comment, give me ideas, let me know what you think is important information that other people might benefit from. Thank you!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Spring Into Action
Spring is here!
Which also means spring cleaning.
This can be an overwhelming process for some of us. Whether you are cleaning out a single closet or the whole house, or getting your garden ready to bloom, spring cleaning is a great time to practice your organization and prioritization skills. When you look at that clutter do you stand there envisioning all the steps you will take or do you jump right in? Jumping right in may seem like the best way to go sometimes but that can also be more time consuming and stressful.
Here are some tips for spring cleaning that will enable you to focus and enjoy it.
First, prepare your materials (garbage bags, new boxes, donation bags, etc.). Once you have all of these items ready, it's just a matter of filling them up as you go. If you are doing this alone, choose an area that you can handle in a couple of hours. When you come across items that you are not sure what to do with try this; think about how long it's been sitting in that closet. If it's been there for a year, two years, but you haven't really missed it, you probably don't need it taking up any more space (this does not apply to sentimental items, of course).
Having your bags and boxes prepared in advance allows you keep the mess to a minimum as you go through all your old belongings and decorative items. Instead of having all these items strewn about the room, they are already placed where they need to go. This will minimize the stress and sense of being overwhelmed you may get from looking at all that stuff that you need to dig through. Your garbage is already bagged, your donations are already bagged or boxed and you've repackaged the remaining items in a more efficient and space saving container as you go along. Now all you have to do is put those items back in the closet and you're done.
Of course going through these items may be a trip down memory lane so enjoy that. Handle these objects, rememeber why you have them. Let them bring you back. Be in that moment. No matter what you decide to do with some of these items take the time to enjoy them and appreciate them all over again.
If you really feel lost in this process, especially if you need to clear out an entire house, you can hire a professional organizer. Often they will give you tips on how to maintain order, specific to your home.
Which also means spring cleaning.
This can be an overwhelming process for some of us. Whether you are cleaning out a single closet or the whole house, or getting your garden ready to bloom, spring cleaning is a great time to practice your organization and prioritization skills. When you look at that clutter do you stand there envisioning all the steps you will take or do you jump right in? Jumping right in may seem like the best way to go sometimes but that can also be more time consuming and stressful.
Here are some tips for spring cleaning that will enable you to focus and enjoy it.
First, prepare your materials (garbage bags, new boxes, donation bags, etc.). Once you have all of these items ready, it's just a matter of filling them up as you go. If you are doing this alone, choose an area that you can handle in a couple of hours. When you come across items that you are not sure what to do with try this; think about how long it's been sitting in that closet. If it's been there for a year, two years, but you haven't really missed it, you probably don't need it taking up any more space (this does not apply to sentimental items, of course).
Having your bags and boxes prepared in advance allows you keep the mess to a minimum as you go through all your old belongings and decorative items. Instead of having all these items strewn about the room, they are already placed where they need to go. This will minimize the stress and sense of being overwhelmed you may get from looking at all that stuff that you need to dig through. Your garbage is already bagged, your donations are already bagged or boxed and you've repackaged the remaining items in a more efficient and space saving container as you go along. Now all you have to do is put those items back in the closet and you're done.
Of course going through these items may be a trip down memory lane so enjoy that. Handle these objects, rememeber why you have them. Let them bring you back. Be in that moment. No matter what you decide to do with some of these items take the time to enjoy them and appreciate them all over again.
If you really feel lost in this process, especially if you need to clear out an entire house, you can hire a professional organizer. Often they will give you tips on how to maintain order, specific to your home.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Clarifying What Matters To You
Lately, I've been presenting workshops on creating your Visual Empowerment Map. Part of that process includes clarifying your goals. For example, one of my attendees wants to have more leisure time and build a new business. Clarification of the goals came from the realization that leisure time would follow as the business became successful and she could afford to take more vacations, etc. She really only had to work on one thing, not two.
Recently I was invited to a demonstration and offer to join a multi level marketing team (MLM). While the company had a product to sell, the sales pitch was all about just signing up more people to that business in order to earn more money. Interesting, sure. Good earning potential, yup, that was there too. However, I sensed that the woman presenting was having difficulty understanding why I didn't want in on this opportunity.
Lots of people want to earn extra money and I'm guilty of that too! But for me, coaching is where I am most authentic. Leading my workshops and partnering with clients so that they live every day empowered to be who and what they most desire. No product, no MLM can do that for me. It was actually kind of difficult to get this point across but it was important.
Clarifying who you are and what you want most, then going out and getting it, is part of how we become satisfied in our lives. Taking on a business opportunity like the one I was offered is great for a lot of people. But it was not for me. My goal is to build a network of friends, clients, workshop attendees and business associates who are living authentically (whatever that means for them). That's the goal I have clarified for myself.
Deciding what is the best way for you to express your authenticity and reaching your goals (personal and financial) is a journey. It's one you can take on your own, with friends or even with a coach. But it's yours. So whatever you take on, be authentic in your choice. If someone else doesn't understand it then that means they are on a journey different from yours, even if your destinations are the same.
"Do what you love, the money will follow." -Marsha Sinetar
Recently I was invited to a demonstration and offer to join a multi level marketing team (MLM). While the company had a product to sell, the sales pitch was all about just signing up more people to that business in order to earn more money. Interesting, sure. Good earning potential, yup, that was there too. However, I sensed that the woman presenting was having difficulty understanding why I didn't want in on this opportunity.
Lots of people want to earn extra money and I'm guilty of that too! But for me, coaching is where I am most authentic. Leading my workshops and partnering with clients so that they live every day empowered to be who and what they most desire. No product, no MLM can do that for me. It was actually kind of difficult to get this point across but it was important.
Clarifying who you are and what you want most, then going out and getting it, is part of how we become satisfied in our lives. Taking on a business opportunity like the one I was offered is great for a lot of people. But it was not for me. My goal is to build a network of friends, clients, workshop attendees and business associates who are living authentically (whatever that means for them). That's the goal I have clarified for myself.
Deciding what is the best way for you to express your authenticity and reaching your goals (personal and financial) is a journey. It's one you can take on your own, with friends or even with a coach. But it's yours. So whatever you take on, be authentic in your choice. If someone else doesn't understand it then that means they are on a journey different from yours, even if your destinations are the same.
"Do what you love, the money will follow." -Marsha Sinetar
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Visual Empowerment Map
So, the workshop this past Sunday was great. It was small but everyone got something out of it. I'm very happy that it was a success. I'll be booking more workshops on creating your visual empowerment map. I've also learned a thing or two about this particular process since this was my first official workshop on the subject. First, you don't have to actually bring all the supplies. As a matter of fact, nobody used a single one. But what was learned during the discussion of the process and each person's experience contributing to it was priceless.
All of the participants shared their goals and their story and learned from eachother as well. That is a beautiful thing to achieve because we all can learn from one another no matter how different we may think we are.
Please contact me for more information on this process. I truly believe in it and your ability to use it to become successful in whatever you choose.
All of the participants shared their goals and their story and learned from eachother as well. That is a beautiful thing to achieve because we all can learn from one another no matter how different we may think we are.
Please contact me for more information on this process. I truly believe in it and your ability to use it to become successful in whatever you choose.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Changing the look, again
I had to revert to a standard template here. I don't like it but it seems all the HTML codes on the custom templates are defective and redirect traffic. I hope someone at google is working on this. So, for the moment, a less than stellar page.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A little self compassion
With kindness, with love and compassion, with this feeling that is the essence of brotherhood, sisterhood, one will have inner peace.
Dalai Lama
Compassion is something many of us strive to achieve. It means that we can feel, empathize, and understand another's suffering and physical or emotional pain. But often we fail to have this same compassion with ourselves. When we fail at something our little voice tells us we are failures or stupid and that we should give up. Nothing could be further from the truth. Failure and mistakes are part of life. This is what we tell our friends and family when we comfort them during troubled times. Failures and mistakes, while part of our existence, are not what defines us. They are but one facet of a multi-faceted existence. So what can we do to take our own advice, to apply some of that compassion to ourselves?
We need to consider a few things here; We make mistakes! It's true but what does it really mean? It means we are like everyone else and it's OK to be that way. As human beings we are more alike than different anyway. When we do not accept ourselves, when we deny ourselves compassion we are separating from the world. By doing so we remain in our compassion-less space, alone.
There is a simple question I have my clients ask themselves at moments like this; "What would you say to your friend in this same situation?" Then take your own advice. Self compassion occurs when we examine our failures and disappointments without criticism or judgment. We say to ourselves "I made a mistake" or "I failed at this thing that was important to me." Recognizing the reality is the first step. Step two is offering the understanding and comfort you would to a friend and knowing you deserve that much. Acknowledging that you are not perfect but that this failure or disappointment is momentary. Also bear in mind you are not alone and perhaps you can reach out to someone who shares this experience to find out how he or she overcame it.
Self-compassion is an important part of the journey toward growth. Without it we get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and punishments. We begin to actually believe that we deserve all the hardships and disappoinments. Instead, what we could be doing is using these experiences as challenges to learn and to grow from. To recognize our own humanity and accept it. You owe it to yourself to apply the same compassion that you have given so freely to others.
If you would like some guidance toward your goal of self comapssion and self acceptance please contact me, I'd love to be a part of that.
Please leave your thoughts and comments, I'd love to hear the lessons you've learned while on this journey.
Dalai Lama
Compassion is something many of us strive to achieve. It means that we can feel, empathize, and understand another's suffering and physical or emotional pain. But often we fail to have this same compassion with ourselves. When we fail at something our little voice tells us we are failures or stupid and that we should give up. Nothing could be further from the truth. Failure and mistakes are part of life. This is what we tell our friends and family when we comfort them during troubled times. Failures and mistakes, while part of our existence, are not what defines us. They are but one facet of a multi-faceted existence. So what can we do to take our own advice, to apply some of that compassion to ourselves?
We need to consider a few things here; We make mistakes! It's true but what does it really mean? It means we are like everyone else and it's OK to be that way. As human beings we are more alike than different anyway. When we do not accept ourselves, when we deny ourselves compassion we are separating from the world. By doing so we remain in our compassion-less space, alone.
There is a simple question I have my clients ask themselves at moments like this; "What would you say to your friend in this same situation?" Then take your own advice. Self compassion occurs when we examine our failures and disappointments without criticism or judgment. We say to ourselves "I made a mistake" or "I failed at this thing that was important to me." Recognizing the reality is the first step. Step two is offering the understanding and comfort you would to a friend and knowing you deserve that much. Acknowledging that you are not perfect but that this failure or disappointment is momentary. Also bear in mind you are not alone and perhaps you can reach out to someone who shares this experience to find out how he or she overcame it.
Self-compassion is an important part of the journey toward growth. Without it we get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and punishments. We begin to actually believe that we deserve all the hardships and disappoinments. Instead, what we could be doing is using these experiences as challenges to learn and to grow from. To recognize our own humanity and accept it. You owe it to yourself to apply the same compassion that you have given so freely to others.
If you would like some guidance toward your goal of self comapssion and self acceptance please contact me, I'd love to be a part of that.
Please leave your thoughts and comments, I'd love to hear the lessons you've learned while on this journey.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Bold Steps Toward Making Change Happen
"Freedom lies in being bold. "
Robert Frost
What does it mean to take a bold step? Sometimes in certain situations baby steps are required. For example, when you begin a new exercise regimen you can't go full blast or you could get injured. But taking that first step toward any change IS BOLD!
In any new endeavor the boldest step you can take is the first step. It's why the procrastinator will start their diet tomorrow. They don't take bold steps toward anything. Once you take the first step you are committed. The outcome may be unknown, you may succeed, you may fail you just don't know. But if you are envisioning change and success that first bold step must be taken.
Worrying about the worst possible outcome does nothing to move you toward your intended goal. Telling yourself that considering the negative outcome is preparing for it "just in case" is important. As the saying goes say "hope for the best, prepare for the worst." Great, that's why they make insurance.
But to be successful you must envision your success; to see your life as it will be when success is accomplished and to know what life will look like for you when your dream comes true. The only way for that to happen is to keep your focus on that outcome. Believe in your vision, whatever it may be, and take that first BOLD step and you'll be on your way to fearlessley making your vision a reality!
Robert Frost
What does it mean to take a bold step? Sometimes in certain situations baby steps are required. For example, when you begin a new exercise regimen you can't go full blast or you could get injured. But taking that first step toward any change IS BOLD!
In any new endeavor the boldest step you can take is the first step. It's why the procrastinator will start their diet tomorrow. They don't take bold steps toward anything. Once you take the first step you are committed. The outcome may be unknown, you may succeed, you may fail you just don't know. But if you are envisioning change and success that first bold step must be taken.
Worrying about the worst possible outcome does nothing to move you toward your intended goal. Telling yourself that considering the negative outcome is preparing for it "just in case" is important. As the saying goes say "hope for the best, prepare for the worst." Great, that's why they make insurance.
But to be successful you must envision your success; to see your life as it will be when success is accomplished and to know what life will look like for you when your dream comes true. The only way for that to happen is to keep your focus on that outcome. Believe in your vision, whatever it may be, and take that first BOLD step and you'll be on your way to fearlessley making your vision a reality!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
New Workshops Scheduled
I have two new workshops scheduled and I'm very excited about them. Both are taking place at the Center for Relaxation & Healing at Plainsboro. But you don't have be involved with the center to attend these workshops. These two workshops are all about becoming empowered in the everyday.
Workshop 1: Creating Positive Relationships with Food - February 22, 2010 from 7:00pm to 8:30 pm. This workshop is about you finding your inner strengths and the truly unlimited options that you possess to cope with stressful and emotional events in your life.
Workshop 2: Creating Your Visual Empowerment Map. My previous post referred to this as a Visual Empowerment Plan. I have decided to go with "map" because it's more intuitive. March 7, 2010, from 11:00am to 1:00pm. This is a 2 hour workshop, hands on, where you get to start creating your VEM.
RSVP and registration is required for both workshops. Please go to my website to the Calendar tab for more details. See you there!
Workshop 1: Creating Positive Relationships with Food - February 22, 2010 from 7:00pm to 8:30 pm. This workshop is about you finding your inner strengths and the truly unlimited options that you possess to cope with stressful and emotional events in your life.
Workshop 2: Creating Your Visual Empowerment Map. My previous post referred to this as a Visual Empowerment Plan. I have decided to go with "map" because it's more intuitive. March 7, 2010, from 11:00am to 1:00pm. This is a 2 hour workshop, hands on, where you get to start creating your VEM.
RSVP and registration is required for both workshops. Please go to my website to the Calendar tab for more details. See you there!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
New Look
Hi all,
Welcome to my new look. I hope you like it. I think it's a little more relaxed and natural looking and feeling. I am not yet skilled at developing my own backgrounds and templates but I'll get there.
DD
Welcome to my new look. I hope you like it. I think it's a little more relaxed and natural looking and feeling. I am not yet skilled at developing my own backgrounds and templates but I'll get there.
DD
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Visual Empowerment Plan
So I am starting a new project and I'm pretty excited about it. I am excited for a few reasons. First, because it's really something brand new that I have not done before. Also because it's fun and I get to have workshops and seminars on this topic. It's life coaching meets arts and crafts! If you have ever heard of or seen a vision board you'll understand that a Visual Empowerment Plan is something like that but goes a little further. Vision boards are great and they keep us focused on our goals and on winning our games, whatever they may be. Vision boards help to activate certain thinking patterns which is also known as Law of Attraction.
I have found, however, that many people confuse Law of Attraction with just thinking positive and good thoughts. That's really only part of it. Law of Attraction is so much more. I have heard some naysayers go on about how it sets us up for disappointment because bad things really do happen sometimes. But Law of Attraction isn't what they say it is. If you look back at my first blog about reframing words and ideas to be positive you'll see a very simple method of how it works. It's not about ignoring or pretending something isn't happening or hoping it will go away if you don't pay attention to it. It's about changing your perspective. In other words, opening up for the positive. When you remove the words or ideas that elicit negative emotions and replace them with positive one's you attract not just positive events but also a more optimistic outlook. It's not about lying to yourself but it is about making sure that you are paying attention to what's good out there. You "attract" positive people and circumstances not because you've magically made them appear but because you are now attentive to their existence. Plus, of course we know that happy begets happy. Smiles are contagious and so is confidence and optimism.
What better way to make that happen than by creating your own Visual Empowerment Plan. This is not just a vision board. It's not about cutting out pictures and words that remind you of your goal and motivate you to reach it. This is more. A Visual Empowerment Plan is your map that begins today and takes you through to your goal. It doesn't have a timeframe unless you want it to. It does contain some vision board elements, like a board and pictures. But there is more power in it than that. On your Visual Empowerment Plan you include not just representations of what you want but representations of what you have, what you need, and what you'll do.
If you want to achieve better health a picture of healthy food or smaller bathing suit isn't enough. You will look at your Visual Empowerment Plan and be inspired to utilize all the tools you have. To go certain places, engage with certain people, have specific experiences, etc. So here is an outline and I am deliberately keeping it somewhat vague because this is YOUR Visual Empowerment Plan and it's your creation.
Of course you need a board or something. If you are really creative and have a home office, dedicate an entire wall to this - go wild! Here is the part that is similar to a vision board. Pictures, photos, cut outs, prints from the internet - whatever - of things that represent your goal (health, finance, relationships...). Ok that's it for similarities.
Here's what else you should include. Representations of skills, knowledge, inspirations, people, places that are already part of your life that will help you reach your goal (family, friends, partner, meditation center...). Something that represents your progress. When you look at your Visual Empowerment Plan you are not only motivated to reach your goal but learn to appreciate who you are, what you have that inspires you, and acknowledge your achievements or how far you've come. How you choose to have these things represented is up to you. You can use photos, you can draw, paint, use crayons anything that expresses who you are.
There is only one hard and fast rule with any of these plans. Nothing negative! No red circle with a line through it, none of that. Only images of your strenghts, the people and places that elevate you and build those strengths or teach you new one's, and the goal. Your plan can be huge (a wall) or poster sized and it can include as many or as few images as you like. But it must elicit those positive emotions that inspire and motivate you to achieve whatever it is you plan.
Oh, one last thing. There is no time frame to create your Visual Empowerment Plan. Take an hour, a weekend, a week, whatever, but complete it. And feel free to change it or make a new one with every new goal.
Now have some fun and let me know how it goes!
I have found, however, that many people confuse Law of Attraction with just thinking positive and good thoughts. That's really only part of it. Law of Attraction is so much more. I have heard some naysayers go on about how it sets us up for disappointment because bad things really do happen sometimes. But Law of Attraction isn't what they say it is. If you look back at my first blog about reframing words and ideas to be positive you'll see a very simple method of how it works. It's not about ignoring or pretending something isn't happening or hoping it will go away if you don't pay attention to it. It's about changing your perspective. In other words, opening up for the positive. When you remove the words or ideas that elicit negative emotions and replace them with positive one's you attract not just positive events but also a more optimistic outlook. It's not about lying to yourself but it is about making sure that you are paying attention to what's good out there. You "attract" positive people and circumstances not because you've magically made them appear but because you are now attentive to their existence. Plus, of course we know that happy begets happy. Smiles are contagious and so is confidence and optimism.
What better way to make that happen than by creating your own Visual Empowerment Plan. This is not just a vision board. It's not about cutting out pictures and words that remind you of your goal and motivate you to reach it. This is more. A Visual Empowerment Plan is your map that begins today and takes you through to your goal. It doesn't have a timeframe unless you want it to. It does contain some vision board elements, like a board and pictures. But there is more power in it than that. On your Visual Empowerment Plan you include not just representations of what you want but representations of what you have, what you need, and what you'll do.
If you want to achieve better health a picture of healthy food or smaller bathing suit isn't enough. You will look at your Visual Empowerment Plan and be inspired to utilize all the tools you have. To go certain places, engage with certain people, have specific experiences, etc. So here is an outline and I am deliberately keeping it somewhat vague because this is YOUR Visual Empowerment Plan and it's your creation.
Of course you need a board or something. If you are really creative and have a home office, dedicate an entire wall to this - go wild! Here is the part that is similar to a vision board. Pictures, photos, cut outs, prints from the internet - whatever - of things that represent your goal (health, finance, relationships...). Ok that's it for similarities.
Here's what else you should include. Representations of skills, knowledge, inspirations, people, places that are already part of your life that will help you reach your goal (family, friends, partner, meditation center...). Something that represents your progress. When you look at your Visual Empowerment Plan you are not only motivated to reach your goal but learn to appreciate who you are, what you have that inspires you, and acknowledge your achievements or how far you've come. How you choose to have these things represented is up to you. You can use photos, you can draw, paint, use crayons anything that expresses who you are.
There is only one hard and fast rule with any of these plans. Nothing negative! No red circle with a line through it, none of that. Only images of your strenghts, the people and places that elevate you and build those strengths or teach you new one's, and the goal. Your plan can be huge (a wall) or poster sized and it can include as many or as few images as you like. But it must elicit those positive emotions that inspire and motivate you to achieve whatever it is you plan.
Oh, one last thing. There is no time frame to create your Visual Empowerment Plan. Take an hour, a weekend, a week, whatever, but complete it. And feel free to change it or make a new one with every new goal.
Now have some fun and let me know how it goes!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)