Clarifying What Matters To You

Lately, I've been presenting workshops on creating your Visual Empowerment Map. Part of that process includes clarifying your goals. For example, one of my attendees wants to have more leisure time and build a new business. Clarification of the goals came from the realization that leisure time would follow as the business became successful and she could afford to take more vacations, etc. She really only had to work on one thing, not two.

Recently I was invited to a demonstration and offer to join a multi level marketing team (MLM). While the company had a product to sell, the sales pitch was all about just signing up more people to that business in order to earn more money. Interesting, sure. Good earning potential, yup, that was there too. However, I sensed that the woman presenting was having difficulty understanding why I didn't want in on this opportunity.

Lots of people want to earn extra money and I'm guilty of that too! But for me, coaching is where I am most authentic. Leading my workshops and partnering with clients so that they live every day empowered to be who and what they most desire. No product, no MLM can do that for me. It was actually kind of difficult to get this point across but it was important.

Clarifying who you are and what you want most, then going out and getting it, is part of how we become satisfied in our lives. Taking on a business opportunity like the one I was offered is great for a lot of people. But it was not for me. My goal is to build a network of friends, clients, workshop attendees and business associates who are living authentically (whatever that means for them). That's the goal I have clarified for myself.

Deciding what is the best way for you to express your authenticity and reaching your goals (personal and financial) is a journey. It's one you can take on your own, with friends or even with a coach. But it's yours. So whatever you take on, be authentic in your choice. If someone else doesn't understand it then that means they are on a journey different from yours, even if your destinations are the same.

"Do what you love, the money will follow." -Marsha Sinetar

Holidays Are Coming; How Are You Preparing For The Stress?

From 2004 to the present, finances have been the #1 cause of stress. As the holidays approach our stressors are exacerbated by demands to buy gifts, entertain, etc. Credit card debt, the poor economy and family responsibilities seem to conspire to increase our stress level. Many people cope with stress by making unhealthy food choices, among other behaviors . Poor coping behaviors don’t actually reduce our stress. In fact, they can add to it.

This holiday season is an especially difficult one for many of us. Business has slowed down, some people are out of work and yet the demands remain. You might be asking yourself how you can get your holiday shopping done without breaking the bank, without disappointing your children or other family members. Demands to conform or to buy the latest hot item for your kids may be undermining your ability to effectively deal with stress. Parental guilt caused by not buying that item is short term. Setting realistic financial goals for your holiday spending is the first and most important step and will have long term effects including teaching coping strategies to your children.

Here are a few of the most common tips to reduce holiday stress:

Identify the stress, evaluate your responses to that stress, make changes where necessary incrementally, first one behavior, then the next. Only by recognizing and tackling these issues one at a time can you make real and lasting changes. When you feel that you must change it all overnight you increase your stress and anxiety.

As I said before; set realistic goals for what you want to achieve this holiday season. Being realistic, not being drawn in by marketing or media messages, about what you need or must have will help you stay on track. If finances are an issues create a budget and stick to it.

Keep it in perspective. Check your stressors over the long term, where to do they fit in, how impactful are they really? If the stress you are feeling is restricted to this holiday season then you can let it go more easily. The impact is minimal and studies show that even under stressful conditions most people feel good about their holidays with family. Knowing that you will too can help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety of entertaining.

Remember what’s really important this holiday season (hint: it’s not in the amount of money you spend).

In these difficult times our family and friends and the support we give one another is priceless and that’s what makes holidays memorable!